Rambling crazy mind of mine.....
written on Saturday, Jan. 10, 2004, @ 12:09 A.M..
I am at a loss....I have missed a day of coming in here and complaining about my day to day hell I am living....But a lot has happened since I last wrote here....
Both good and bad has happened....and it's so wierd how people just seem to think that they could just live my life for me....But that isn't going to happen....That sister of mine has another thing coming if she thinks that I am just going to sit here and take her bullshit....
Kids have been better....I know I haven't talked about them much....But they seem to do better when there is no contact with their father....I always remind them that if they wanted to to they can call him....They just say no and keep playing....
I know most of you are wondering why I keep reminding them???? But they have to see that I hold nothing against them for wanted to talk to their dad....They need to know that I am ok with their relationship with him....Plus if we ever go to court....I don't want them saying....BECAUSE MOMMY WOULDN'T LET US!!!!!
They are just more concerned with me getting better right now....it's just really cute....My daughter is the funny one though....I ask her if she would want to call her dad.....she says....I DON'T KNOW....then she always asks what her brother said....and if he said no....it's no for her too....
I just wish I could have complete control over my life....I have my parents holding this house over my head...."Well we bought it because of you" type of shit.....Then is my ex always wanting to control me by using the kids....
I need to have my own life and my own space away from everyone....sometimes I think it isn't possible....
Well I have to go.....done enough venting today....wish me luck all....I will definitely need it....
To my friends....Sorry I have been MIA.....Just had alot of things to think through....
TTYL