MY MISHAPS......
written on Thursday, Jan. 29, 2004, @ 11:24 P.M..
I will try and sound upbeat today....so bare with me in case I fail...
Today I had my counseling session....And for the 1st time I have been seeing the new couselor....I actually felt like she could really have a heart....she was really trying to help me in how I felt about My situation these past couple of days...
I thought for sure I would walk out of there asking to get a new counselor or something...But she really listened to me and gave me some "SUZANNE" type of advice...It felt good and my day started to look up(for a bit)....
Then I had to come home...I wasn't ready...didn't want to face B/F or even talk to him...Well not that anything has changed yet...But not until he starts seeing things my way....better yet...not until he stops trying to run me and act like he does things better then me....WE WON'T MAKE IT!!!!!
There is a double standard when it comes to him and I....I have to always comprimise(sp?) and he always acts like he never does anything wrong....I mention anything about his wife(well they are still married) and he gets on the defensive....I mention my ex and all hell breaks loose....
I don't defend my ex to no one....he isn't worth it to me and that part of my life is over....My B/F on the other hand....thinks that I read too much into any gesture coming from his wife....OK LET'S BACK TRACK....this is also the same woman that cheated on him....got him locked up several times...tries to control him by using the kids....AND I AM THE ONE IN THE WRONG!!!!!
PLEASE, will someone enlighten me with some men knowledge to help me see things his way???
why is it that I end up with such selfish men?????
I had a B/F that even on his wedding said that if I showed up he wouldn't go through with his marriage....MEANING: either way I go I will end up with someone....
Another example....A B/F that would only come to see me when I had money(i would always help pay on dates) MEANING: Penny pincher...
I dated a guy that since he couldn't have my sister....Just wanted to be near her..didn't know that then..SUCKS HUH???
My ex...everything for his family and yet he would say that my family were(just say whatever.....he used them all)We always had to go see his family...they never visited...The best part of this whole deal....My family were racist...That one was my all time favorite...Never mind the beatings and the mental and emotional abuse...I was the bad guy in that relationship...you want to know his reason....because I listened to my family...He said that our marriage wasn't all that bad...I told him because he was never on the other side of the gun...Yeah that was a part of one of my many fights with my ex....
And now.....the piez de resistance...My now loving and so dear B/F....he talks about life together and all...But he doesn't really see me as part of this relationship...If he did....I don't think I would be writing this entry...
HEY EVERYONE!!!! once your significant others get off the pc....go into history....or temporary internet files...You can get a whole listing of stuff they did on the web...that's how I confirmed what a friend of mine told me....I found out that my dear man has another email address on yahoo....he had pics in there of his wife....joined a yahoo group to meet woman and who knows what else....
IT'S NOT NICE TO FUCK AROUND ON ME!!!!! It always comes back to bite you on the butt....
So much for trying to write a nice entry....LOL
I guess I laid out my distructive relationships for all to see...it's good to be able to let some of this stuff out....Sorry It made this entry so long....
TTYL